Tips for Announcing Your Elopement to Loved Ones

Planning an elopement is an intentional and deeply meaningful choice. But as meaningful as this choice is, we’ve also heard from many couples that sharing the news of their elopement with loved ones feels daunting. We understand and know that some people may not understand what an elopement is or they may have misconceptions about what it actually means to elope. Choosing to have an elopement is one of the most beautiful experiences you can have in life and we don’t want you to feel stressed about your decision. That is why we created this guide on how to tell family you’re eloping. With these tips, we hope you will be able to share the news of your elopement with your loved ones with more confidence.


Bride and groom stand on a mountain trail in Switzerland reading their private elopement vows

When to Tell Family You Are Eloping

Now that you’ve chosen an elopement, one of the first things you might be wondering when it comes to how to tell family you’re eloping is when to share the news.

Keep in mind that with all the advice we are sharing here in this blog post, it may not apply to you and your situation. Therefore, the choice of when and how (or even if at all) to tell your loved ones you are eloping is completely up to you! 

If you think your loved ones will respond well to your news, you may want to tell them a few months in advance. By telling them early, they will be able to share in the good news with you and may even be able to help you with some of the planning. This can be a great way to involve your family and friends, especially if you do not plan on inviting them to your ceremony. 

On the other hand, if you do not think your family or friends will take the news of your elopement well, consider: 

  • Whether or not you want to tell them at all (perhaps it would be better to wait until after you are married or not at all)
  • Whether sharing this news prior to your elopement will reduce your stress or add to it
  • How soon do you want to tell them? Would you rather get it out of the way early on or wait until closer to your elopement day when more of the plans are set? 

Telling unsupportive loved ones is a tricky thing and there is no one answer. The best advice we can give about when to tell family you are eloping is to simply tell who you want to tell and do it at a time that feels right for you.


How to Tell Family You’re Eloping

If you decide to tell family and friends about your elopement in advance, here are a few elopement announcement tips to keep in mind.

Consider The Setting

The way you share the news of your elopement can make a big difference in how that news is received. 

Before announcing your elopement, ask yourself how you normally interact with this person. Do you usually meet face-to-face or on a video call? How close is your relationship?

Typically, the closer the relationship, the more you may want to consider telling them in person. However, if that option is not available to you, that’s ok. Simply share your news in a way that is the most comfortable for you.

Communicate as Clearly as Possible

Sometimes short and sweet is all you need. Share the news of your elopement in a clear and concise way.

You can simply say “We’ve decided to elope” or “We are getting married with just the two of us”.

Share Your Reasons for Choosing an Elopement

Once you’ve shared that you plan to elope, it can be helpful to explain the why behind your decision. This can be especially helpful if your loved ones are unsure about eloping and what it can mean. 

When sharing your reasoning, think back to when you and your partner first started talking about your wedding day. What made you want to elope? Was it because you wanted more privacy? Or does eloping for you mean an intentional experience or a more authentic way to celebrate? 

Whatever your reasons for eloping, share them with your loved ones. This can go a long way in helping them understand why you chose this type of wedding ceremony.

Share Details of Your Day 

You can even go a step further and share what your day is going to look like. A lot of people have misconceptions about elopements. They may think that eloping is shameful (hint – it’s not!) or that it means running down to a courthouse in secret (elopements can mean this, but they do not always). 

If you plan to go on a helicopter adventure over a glacier or go on an offroading adventure in the desert, share that with your loved ones. It may help them better understand what elopements today are like and why you are choosing this type of wedding experience.

Acknowledge Their Feelings

Once you have shared the news of your elopement, it can be helpful to acknowledge any feelings that might come up. Perhaps your loved ones will be as excited for you as you are (we hope this is the case), but perhaps they may also be a little uncertain about how to react.

If so, acknowledge their feelings and do your best to empathize. It’s ok if your loved ones to feel unsure. You don’t have to change their mind or convince them of anything, but acknowledging their feelings can go a long way in reducing any tension that might be there.

No matter how you choose to announce your elopement, remember to keep your vision at the core of everything you do. You can plan a beautiful wedding where everyone else is happy or, you can plan an elopement where YOU are happy. (And, pro tip – you don’t always have to choose one or the other. It is possible to have both. Click here to see how).

Bride and groom hold hands on a mountain trail during their Italian Dolomites elopement

More Tips on How to Announce Your Elopement (Plus Ideas for How to Include Your Loved Ones)

Here are some fun ideas for how to announce your elopement, plus some ways to include your loved ones no matter what type of experience you are planning. 

How to Tell Family You’re Eloping: If You Are Inviting Guests

  • Share the news in person – you can include lots of personalized elements when announcing your elopement or you could even plan a party where you share the news
  • Send an invitation via snail mail
  • Send a digital invitation with links to helpful planning resources, location information, and more

What Guests Should Know

As it may be the first elopement some of your guests have ever attended, there are a few important things they will need to know about what the day will entail. Be sure to communicate this information early on so guests have time to plan and prepare for the day. 

  • Information about the elopement (location and accessibility, flow of the day, what to expect, etc.)
  • Where to book accommodations
  • Logistics and transportation
  • Weather and what to wear
  • Packing list and education on outdoor etiquettes (Leave No Trace)

Pro Tip: Create a group Google Doc or an elopement website with links to all the important information your guests need to know.

Ways to Include Guests

  • Have your guests help you get ready
  • Do a first look with your guests 
  • Ask a loved one to perform your ceremony 
  • Have a small picnic at your elopement ceremony location
  • Host a full reception at a venue or Airbnb
  • Invite your guests to cook a meal together
  • Stay together in one big cabin or split up into several cabins nearby
  • Go on a hike together
Getting ready photo during elopement day in Washington State

How to Tell Family You’re Eloping: If You Are Not Inviting Guests

  • Decide who you want to tell and how to announce your elopement
  • Share the news in person or via FaceTime when possible
  • Share the reasons behind your decision
  • Empathize with the way they might be feeling

Ways to Include Loved Ones in Your Day

If your elopement day does not include any guests, but you still want to incorporate them into some parts of your day, here are a few ways to do so: 

  • Invite them to be a part of the planning process (ie – help you shop for wedding attire)
  • FaceTime/Zoom call with guests before your ceremony
  • Ask them to write you letters that you will read on your wedding day 
  • Record parts of your day to share with loved ones 
  • Plan a post-elopement celebration for when you get back
  • Plan a multi-day wedding where you take one day to celebrate with loved ones and another day to celebrate with just the two of you

Two grooms stand by a glacial tarn at their outdoor national park wedding venue

FAQs About Announcing Your Elopement

Here are a few other questions we see from couples who are wondering how to tell loved ones about their elopement. 

Should I tell my friends and family we’re eloping? 

When it comes to eloping, there are no “shoulds”. There is only you, your partner, and the vision you have for your elopement day. Everything else is just extra. If you are asking yourself “should I tell my friends and family we’re eloping” know that it is a personal choice and no one can make that decision but you.

Who to tell you are eloping?

Again, who to tell is a personal choice. We recommend sharing the news first with those who will be excited for you or those who you feel closest to. This may be parents, siblings, and grandparents, or it may also be your chosen family and friends. 

When to tell loved ones you’re eloping?

As much as you are comfortable doing so, we recommend telling loved ones about your elopement as soon as possible. This way they can share in your excitement with you and may even be able to help you with some of the planning. However, there is nothing wrong with keeping it a secret and enjoying the process with just the two of you. Some feelings might be hurt, but ultimately, your elopement experience is about YOU!

More Resources For Announcing Your Elopement

Elopement Planning Tips: Unique Elopement Ideas

Meet Your Intimate Wedding & Elopement Photographers

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